Dhamma - Light of My Life

Strangely, I missed my Sunday Dhamma Classes.

Often a time after I graduate from Sunday School, I found myself forgetting my Teacher, His Teachings and the way I should lead my life. He seems to be getting further and further away from me.

It is only when I'm in pain, in need and so weak or fragile, I go to Him, chant a prayer in the middle of the night or sit up to meditate in the wee hours. It is ridiculous, but I often caught myself doing so.

I don't seem to remember Him when I commit sins, when I start telling lies, when anger rises in me, when I have meals on the dinner table, and when I yell at my parents for mid term is coming.

No, this shouldn't be the way of my life. As His follower, I feel ashamed when I flash back from time to time.

I struggle, trying to find what is the purpose of life.
Is it all about fulfilling what your teachers say and study all you can?
Is it all about playing and enjoying your life?
Is it all about earning a living and then leave when the time arrives?

I don't know.
That makes me think. THINK.

To me, for now, it's about studying to get myself into a good U or college, get myself a good education so that I can reach out to others, making a difference in their lives. Although this sounds typical, and you would probably give me a 'yeah right' look, but that is what I wanna do.

I do not know what I will become in 10 years, 20 years or even 30 years time... But I just pray I will not get off track and continue holding strong to His beliefs. After all, we come here with nothing and we shall leave with nothing, but at least, accumulate some good karma and merits before you leave the wheel of life or continue to start another journey.

When you are stressed up and think 'What the heck happened to my this shitty life?', just remember this : This too, shall pass.

Hold on to your beliefs. Guide yourself with positive thoughts.

The other day, I walked up to Him, knelt down in front to seek some refuge. I told Him my miseries and asked for solutions, He told me nothing, but instead He looked me in the eye.

YOU are the solution to your problems. No one can help us, but we, ourselves.

I promised, from today onwards, I shall cling on to my 5 precepts, perfect my flaws, tame down my bad tantrum, keep Him close to my heart and continue my journey in seeking for the Noble Truth.


Buddhism. My Way of Life.